Covid-19 has brought about difficult times; it has also brought about a new dilemma spending so much time together. Many couples are saying: “I am a prisoner of this quarantine and a prisoner of this marriage.”
To spend many long hours with the same people in the same space can increase negative feelings and fights. To have less freedom and control does not feel good, and we all (even introverts!) need breaks and alone time to relax. In normal circumstances, we have the ability to increase physical and emotional distance when we are overwhelmed. Now, our inability to take this needed space could lead to increased tension, conflict and even thoughts about divorce. In normal circumstances, time apart works like a pressure valve release. People sometimes stay even though they are unhappy because they can recharge. Remove the freedom of movement, and the result can be corrosive. Even in healthy and generally happy relationships, current restrictions can be a challenging struggle.
So, there are healthy ways to navigate your relationship during this quarantine!
Set up personal space for each one of you in your house. Introverts tend to relax by themselves. Allow each other needed time and space for relaxation, and try not to take it personally when your partner needs their own space. Happier couples generally need less personal space time apart. Distressed couples generally will have a higher percentage of more distance than couples who are happy. Unhappy partners will seek even more distance apart. So asking what your partner needs from you can be very helpful. Ask to understand what they want, empathize with the lack of freedom and space needed. Be a team fighting a common enemy, COVID-19, quarantine).
Remind yourself of your good memories. How can you recreate the memory? Work on remembering and mentioning all the things you like about your partner. Think of their good qualities, your favorite dates, your intimate moments. Then tell them to each other.
We are all likely feeling a bit restricted and anxious, and these two things are a tough combination right now. Anxiety often creates a desire to control, but restriction makes us want to resist that control. Instead discuss your emotions with each other. Be vulnerable and human, we are all nervous at times. It allows us to move on in a healthy manner.
Covid-19 has brought about difficult times a seasoned marriage counselor or coach can help you through it!
- If you are teleworking and have kids, be kind to yourself, your partner and your kids. Relationships are more important right now. Your kids’ online school, positive behaviors or a perfect household is not the goal right now. Give yourself permission to not have high those high standards.
- Remind yourself that this is temporary but your relationship is not. Soon COVID-19 will be a distant memory.
Your relationship can actually thrive during these times. This is a great time to close the distance that may have grown between you and your significant other. The restricted space can allow for deep and loving conversations. Also, it may be a good time for online counseling or telehealth. It works almost like in person counseling.
The Path To Well-Being provides couple, family, and individual therapy in our Manassas and virtually. Call or email today to set up your first appointment or a complimentary telephone consultation with BJ.
Covid-19 has brought about difficult times a seasoned marriage counselor or coach can help you through it!
TAGS: COMMUNICATION, CONFLICT, CONNECTION, CORONAVIRUS, COUPLES, COVID-19, PANDEMIC, RELATIONSHIPS, SUPPORT, TIPS